Posts by Aunt Fancy

106

WT SHUNNING POLICY: What has it done, or could it do to you?

by flipper in

jw
friends

hi y'all, this is mrs. flipper.

please share your experiences with this, or possible consequences of being outed.. this recent controversy and resulting arguments all stem from people being outed - possibly losing friends and family because most jw's will blindly follow the watchtower's rules to shun them.. among people i know and experiences read here, the grief and loss caused by this is terrible, and maybe now is a good time to put up some experiences here, and put the focus on the worst villians of all - wt policymakers..

Aunt Fancy

Reading Venetian's letter made me cry along with the other experiences. It is such a cruel practice and one that bothered me from day one. There are too many people who have been destroyed because of it and it is very wicked practice. I will never understand how they can justify it when there is no account in the bible of Jesus doing it to his friends and family. The GB is so blood guilty for their evil policies and I truly hope if there are any out there on the fence that they will read these heartbreaking stories and open their eyes.

Not to long before we faded we were with a couple whose daughter was DFed and we stood by their side through it and after she was reinstated I said to them at a gathering how wrong I thought the practice was and he turned and said oh no it isn't! After the abuse his daughter took and they were shunned by most in the cong while it was going on and he couldn't see the harm.

I feel very fortunate because my family were never JW's so the reverse happened to me when I left. My relationship with my family while I was in was strained because of it but we never stopped contact and once I left, my family was there for me supporting me. I am thankful every day for them and it only makes me realize what a crazy religion it truly is. My relationship with my only child was damaged because of the religion and as soon as we left we talked very openly with each other and that improved 100%.

We have lost most of our "friends" but that is ok. We have faded and so far when I see them around town they talk but there could be those that run the other way and I am not aware of it. When we just started to fade I found out I had early stage breast cancer and I had no support at all from those that I considered close friends and it did hurt but I moved on and decided they just are not worth it to stress over. It has been hard making new friends but at least my relationship with my family has grown so much so it was worth it.

I have mentioned this before but one of my sisters told me that every Christmas my Dad would cry because I wasn't with them. One year he told the family that Aunt Fancy is in a cult and we need to do whatever we can to keep her with us and not lose contact with her. He was so afraid that I would walk away from them but I could never cut ties with them.

My heart really breaks for all of those who have lost their families and friends over this, the pain must be so great. I have lived through some very difficult periods and gone through painful times but I am thankful I came out with my husband and I have a loving family standing with me. I realize now who truly loved me unconditionally. It is sad but it isn't the "friends" I thought I had.

31

Fading hurts so much!!

by ILoveTTATT in

yet another update on my story:.

for various reasons, i still have to go to all meetings.

(i am looking to change my personal circumstances to allow me to live somewhere else so i can fade easier)... i actually don't mind going to the mid-week meeting since i can comment on the bible reading, and slowly but surely i can introduce little seeds of cognitive dissonance... making it seem like i am super interested in what the interlinear says or that people can actually go and check out the manuscripts for themselves online!

Aunt Fancy

ILoveTTATT, My husband and i were like some of the others in here where once we learned the real truth we just faded and never went into the KH again because we couldn't listen to their lies. I was so angry that if I would have been at the meetings I would have blown a gasket and probably opened my mouth and caused problems for myself. We also switched KH (we had been going out of the territory for years and got so tired of the drive) right when I had just started to read the books and we only went to one meeting there and then faded. We have had a couple of phone calls and knocks on the door because we knew most in that congregation but we also know that we have noting in common any longer and the friendship ended for us when we found out the real truth. I feel bad for those that have to continue to go to the meetings after they find out what the real truth is and ones that have to remain very active because they will lose their family if they quit.

I read yesterday where someone takes their IPad or whatever is comparable, to the meetings and they read things they are interested in. Some congregations have a lot of publishers that use these during the meetings but the congregations I have been in recently do not do that, so if yours is the type where you can do it then why not use that time to read the things you want to.

I hope you are able to find a job in another area because that will help you so much. We live half way across the country and his family didn't even have to know that we faded but his Mom kept asking if we were going to the meetings and hubby finally told her no and why. We also knew she wouldn't shun him because he is all she has now. His brother was DFed when he died and she continued to talk to him and her husband has been dead for many years. He was always her favorite but the relationship has changed which he likes because they don't talk about the meetings any longer.

Keep on the course of your fade and any time you need some help we are here for you. It is good you are reading everything you can get your hands on because you need to find out all of the lies and terrible things they are doing to people so you will have no doubts. I would then suggest you read some good positive thinking books to help with your healing process too. One is called The Slight Edge and another one is called The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself and The Road Less Traveled. My husband has read all of these and read them twice and it has really changed his attitude. These books will help you be successful in life and get the negative thinking out of your head which is what we were taught all of those years.

25

Your Baptism

by Aunt Fancy in

jw
friends

we have been going through our literature and throwing away a lot of it which feels great.

my hubby came cross the program from my baptism in 1986. the divine peace dc held in the astrodome in houston, tx.

he always wrote the attendance and the amount baptized so on that day there were 30,894 in attendance nd 531 baptized!

Aunt Fancy

Jim, I will ask hubby about that too since that was some of his stomping grounds. I know the KH's we were in on the NE side of the town didn't have them but they were a little newer. Things were much different back then.

21

Got Home From a Business Meeting This Evening-Kids Were Watching JW DVD

by PaintedToeNail in

jw
friends

i had a business meeting this evening, hubby elected to stay home with the kiddies (he could have come with me), as he said "you need a break, have some time alone'...so considerate...so i thought.

upon returning home, he had popped one of the new dvd's released at the convention, don't know the title, of some young brother who gets fired from a job and goes for a drink with a buddy from work.

it is very annoying that he pulls these little tricks on me, act like he is doing me some favor or being considerate then pulling one of these jwisms...like the time he booked an appointment with a physchiatrist, and he wanted me to go along to discuss his insecurities in our marriage because i had learned ttatt...he conveniently left out the part where the doctor is a jw.

Aunt Fancy

That is a shame you are dealing with that. You are going to have to work extra hard to deprogram everything he is telling them. I would be so mad about the JW therapist.

21

Christmas

by Mahtaw in

jw
friends

was raised a jw, started fading out about 3 and a half years ago.

i recently had a child, and my in laws are baptist.

they love christmas.

Aunt Fancy

I grew up celebrating Christmas and it was actually the hardest thing for me to give up. Well, after 30 years of being a JW I celebrated it this past year and my husband who was a born in did too. He was a little uncomfortable at first but he had a great time watching the grandkids have a great time. It is such a fun time of the year and everything is so festive. You may find that you will change you mind especially with small children. I know that for many it is a religious celebration but many people of different religions celebrate because it is fun. Give yourself time you might find you enjoy it!

14

Joined the YMCA! Start tomorrow on getting fit.

by skeeter1 in

jw
friends

i joined the ymca.

of course, i joined it for the gym.

seriously, the best deal in town for a whole family membership that the gym actually allows tweens and teens to exercise in classes and on machines.

Aunt Fancy

Good for you! You and your family will enjoy it. We joined it right before we faded because it has a few swimming pools and so many other great programs.

27

Integrity over living a lie....

by Happier in

jw
friends

hey to everyone here... so i have never been one for writing much of my feelings down for other people to see.

this however has become so important to me and i may be able to help someone who dares go looking for answers some place other than the jw.org website.

first of all i would like to thank anybody and everybody who had the courage enough to write their experience in the organisation.

Aunt Fancy

Welcome Happier, I am happy for you that you escaped the abuse of your step father and also the religion. You are young and you have a wonderful future ahead of you. Getting out while you are young is such an advantage. Continue to do reading and research about the religion to help you get all the lies out of your mind. I hope you are able to go to college or have gotten a good trade. We are here any time you need to talk.

25

Your Baptism

by Aunt Fancy in

jw
friends

we have been going through our literature and throwing away a lot of it which feels great.

my hubby came cross the program from my baptism in 1986. the divine peace dc held in the astrodome in houston, tx.

he always wrote the attendance and the amount baptized so on that day there were 30,894 in attendance nd 531 baptized!

Aunt Fancy

Wow Zadok, that was the year I was born. You have seen a lot and much has changed! Jake that was a nice place for the DC maybe we have crossed paths!

JWOP I have never heard of a KH with a baptismal pool.

12

UPDATE: on the pirate publisher that was selling my book...

by Newly Enlightened in

back in may, i had a friend email me after the release of our jwstruggle video and tell me that the book i wrote and had published was all over the internet and some of you requested that i keep you up to date, so here goes.. i hired an attorney to write the publisher a letter.

they stopped selling hard copies and the digital copies of my book but have still not sent a full accounting of how many of my books they sold and reimbursed me and are now ignoring my phone calls and attorneys letters.

so the lawyer suggested that since it is difficult to sue internationally, i call the local office of the fbi.

Aunt Fancy

I hope you can get some justice from this. With the Internet it makes this easier to do.

50

Well I gotta go......

by punkofnice in

jw
friends

...i might drop in every now and then but i hope you all enjoy life, escape the watchtower(r) and live prosperous lives.. i can't say i contribute much here anyway (and i'm not attention seeking).. i'm just going to get on with life away from the constant reminder of the mistakes i made being a jw zombie drone.. i guess i'm just going to fade.......rather quickly.. of course i didn't need to make any posts here to disappear but i thought it'd be polite and very british to bid you all a fond farewell.. see you all sometime.....maybe.....maybe not.....maybe....... bye!.

ps.

don't pm me as i won't be checking the pms.. .

Aunt Fancy

Punk, I am going to miss you. You bring a lot to the table whether you realize it or not. I also know that many have to move on to continue to grow while others stay because they have the desire to help those coming out. Sometimes it is difficult to stay because it can keep the anger coming back but we all have to do whatever brings us peace an happiness. I hope someday your family will be out with you and you will have a truly happy family life. Don't give up because you never know what someone will say or do that will cause your wife walk away.